How to stop online dating addiction

Why should they focus on one person and develop a relationship with them if they can change online partners literally every day or correspond with several people at once?

The truth is, people addicted to dating sites take the risk of spending years online without ever having a real relationship offline. A lot of people are addicted to their smartphones. There is always something interesting to check out or watch, especially if you have an unlimited access to the Internet.

What is the last thing we see when we go to bed and the first thing we reach out for in the morning? Most dating sites have not only their desktop version but also a mobile one, which means you can interact with your virtual friends and look for new matches non-stop. Some dating services exist only as mobile apps. One of the main parameters of dating apps, such as the good old Tinder, is addictivity.

A large number of dating come up with new ideas and algorithms for their services. Users answer a series of questions and then an app matches them with people who give the same answers. It turns into a quiz and is really absorbing. Many people start perceiving dating apps as game apps. They forget that there are real people hiding behind the profile photos.

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You set some search parameters and then study the profiles of the proposed matches. Yet, there is a spirit of competition that encourages people to pay for extra features to get their profiles to the top to get more views. The developers of the new generation of dating apps have realized that people are too focused on the dating game itself rather than on meeting people. They condemn the swiping culture and want to emphasize that a dating app is a tool for securing a date, not for endless chatting and flirting without any progress.

Such dating apps as Clover, Pure, or HowAboutWe minimize the time spent on virtual chit-chat and help people find themselves on a date shortly after exchanging several messages or right after agreeing to meet in a particular place at a particular time. Endless resources infer endless searches. This is how the dating industry can be characterized in a nutshell.


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And this is what facilitates an Internet dating site addiction. The compulsive use of dating services changes your attitude to relationships. You stop perceiving each of your partners as unique. In 10 minutes, you can not only see hundreds of girls from different cities and countries but also scan their profiles. In real life, it would take you a year.

Are you suffering from "online dating addiction"? Here is how you can regain your freedom.

The desire to woo and win a girl disappears — you know there are other single women out there. The abundance of choice leads to emotional burnout. According to psychologists and anthropologists, people are able to maintain a close emotional connection with not more than people.


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  • Love Addiction, Codependency & Internet Dating!

Today, thanks to the Internet, you can communicate with a lot more people. Melissa woke up first, looking at Jake and wondering how she got so lucky to find a man of such inner and outer strength and beauty. She could have looked at him all morning.

The 12 Steps To Breaking Free From Your Addiction To Dating Apps | Thought Catalog

Sensing that Melissa was staring at him, Jake woke up, startled by her deep and smothering gaze. All of a sudden, he felt a pang of panic. On the bed, where he lay naked, he felt exposed and vulnerable in a way that no sheet could cover. He asked himself, who was this woman who looked at him with such intense love? His chest got tight and his breathing became labored. As Melissa wrapped her arms around him, Jake reflexively arched his back, as if she might hurt him. Melissa sensed his anxiety and asked if he was OK.

Jake denied there was anything wrong, explaining he was just distracted about a personal obligation he needed to attend to. He got out of bed and started dressing, never looking in her direction. He gave her a light and almost perfunctory kiss on the mouth followed by a statement about how much he enjoyed the night they spent together. He looked scared and awkward. This was when she knew this would be the last time she ever saw Jake. He quickly walked to the door, closing it without a backward glance. For Melissa, the disconnection was palpable, like someone had violently pulled a cord out from an electrical socket.

She felt bewildered and utterly ashamed. What had she done? Why did she have sex with him? She should have waited. It certainly staved off loneliness, and felt safer in many ways than risking a date, face-to-face, for which I had to grow a pretty thick skin.

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The rejection is tough on both sides - the men you think sound wonderful but when you meet them they are not what they seem, or maybe you like them but they don't like you. I eventually met my husband via Facebook we had mutual friends, but soon moved our connection into the real world.

NARCISSISTIC RELATIONSHIPS: Is He Addicted to Flirtation on Internet Dating Sites?

My best friend met his now wife on Tinder. So success stories do happen, but they're outnumbered by the thousands of singles having more of a relationship with their phones than with each other. In my work as a relationship therapist and love coach, I meet clients of plus of both sexes who are obsessively dating. Some do manage to meet up, but it doesn't matter how disastrous any eventual dates are - they have told me horror stories of men talking to other women as they sit opposite them - they just can't stop searching for more.

They all say they never meet anyone decent but, even if they do, they are convinced there might well be someone better around the corner. I gently suggest that maybe they are addicted to the whole process of dating and that perhaps they might think about stopping and pausing to think about what they really want in a relationship. I suggest that maybe knowing who they really are and who they really want to meet might help them. Yet often this suggestion is met with looks of horror and confusion. It makes me wonder if we have become a nation of prospectors - dating endlessly in the certainty the next one will be The One, but in reality wasting hours of our lives, with little to show for it.

So where does this leave the or plus dater? The key is to get off apps - half of British singles have never asked someone out face-to-face, but as Margareta James of the Harley Street Wellbeing Clinic says, "It's hard to create extraordinary relationships online. It is all about connection and in an increasingly isolated world, it's what we all crave, especially as we get older. That's what gets you off an app and in to the world of lasting relationships.

It's easy to talk to our phones. It's far more difficult to talk face-to-face, but it's the only way forward.